I had a conversation a few weeks ago that made me remember how important it is to be kind to yourself. My friend Alexandra had her second baby about a month and a half ago. Four days later, she shared with me the jumble of emotions she was feeling: She was struggling with feeling like she wasn’t meeting her older child’s needs, feeling frustrated with those needs, and feeling guilty about feeling those things (while simultaneously overflowing with love and adoration for him).
And then, she said something so lovely:
“But I need to give myself some grace too.”
It reminded me of the lovely advice a mentor and member of my dissertation advising committee, Dr. Ranji JohnBull told me when I was pregnant during my doctorate program:
“Be kind to yourself.”
We Mamas constantly have mom guilt, and we’re quick to beat ourselves up all of the time over everything. But we’re probably doing alright. So this is just a gentle reminder to be kind to yourself.
Alexandra also told me this: “my heart is so much bigger because I have two people I love more than I can even grasp.” Mamas, if you’re loving your babies, give yourself some grace, and be kind to yourself.
P.S. – tiny buddha on developing self-compassion, and a book (affiliate link — explanation here) that helps me keep perspective.
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